Heart to Heart

I know I'm a coward for not telling you in person. I just couldn't face you. It appears our relationship has dwindled down to a one way conversation via orkut. Although you may read them, I feel they don’t really reach you. Though there have been miles of distance between us, always believed that life would bring us together. That hope was a comfort and gave me the patience to wait for that future. As time has passed, it is pretty clear that you have drifted further and further away from me. I guess it is finally time for me to acknowledge, to you and myself, that our futures will make different paths.

Your entry into my life breathed life into me. It gave me an excitement for each new day and I looked forward with anticipation to each time I could see you. In all of life, I have never really felt so at peace as when I am thinking of you.

We never had any meaningful communications ever since. But the brief moments when our paths cross created memories that will remain forever in my mind and heart. The decades of not seeing and talking to each other is not enough to diminish the lasting relation that binds us together. We failed to communicate in a meaningful and ordinary way, but who cares? The language of relationship isn’t words but meanings.

My hope that destiny would bring us together meant that I never really had to say goodbye. As much as that saddens me, I think it is really time for me to say goodbye to you.

How foolish of me. I'll never forget you and I'll always miss you, but this is what's best for you and your family. I knew that your mother didn't like me. I'm unsure of whether it was my faith or wealth, or merely the fact that I was nobody, not good enough for her child. As for your father... I’m unsure of what he feels. Your sibling took to me, but he always seemed a bit distant. He felt uncomfortable around me.

I know that as you read this, you're wondering how and why this all happened so quickly. Well, it's been on my mind for a few weeks and I realized that it's either now or never. I'm glad that I worked up the courage to begin doing it. The reason is your family. I love them all because I love you. If I didn't love them, I wouldn't love you. It means a lot to me, personally, for the partner to respect the other's parents. I wish things could have worked out, but to pursue that would have been incredibly selfish.

There will always be a place in my heart that you will be fondly, fondly remembered. You are the beat of my heart, the soul in my body; you are me, because without you I am nothing.

Please give me a call when life allows you to enjoy a warm hug, a good meal and one of our loving heart-to-heart talks. I will look forward to that day……. If it ever comes.